3.4 Chapter 4: Science Without Conscience.Retard.Д¬hief turns back to the computer and looks at again. Arbiter: Just keep looking at your lolcats pictures.As soon as I stop playing Halo, that means I hate it. Chief: traiter, so u must h8 halo now if ur playign cock of doody 4.Chief is looking at, and turns to Arbiter for a moment. 'Grace Kelly' theme starts playing afterwards, Master Chief is using the computer and Arbiter is playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare on the map, Bog, as the OpFor, the enemy faction. Arbiter:В Can I play Call of Duty 4 now?.вЂ‹A little pause occours, and the soundtrack stops roughly.] Arbiter: Now we'll just wait and see what happens.I'm sure Bungie will consider it!ДЄrbiter presses the Enter key to send the email, then sits down beside Chief. Arbiter: I'm not telling them you have cancer, and there's no such thing as 'super cancer'.Arbiter: I'm not gonna lie to Bungie about you having a fatal illness.While Arbiter types, Chief plays poorly as he drives a Mongoose around the map and gets blown up riding it Here, I'll write a letter for you.Д¬hief goes to play Halo 3, while Arbiter writes the e-mail to Bungie. Arbiter: I don't think that's how it works, Chief.Chief: i think the moar zs i put in plz, teh mawr chans they r wil give meh rec0n.All you've written is 'can i haz recon', and the word plz, and it looks like you just held the Z key down for five minutes. Arbiter: It doesn't look like you put any thought into this e-mail.Arbiter: You never know! Maybe if it's well-written and you explain what a huge fan you are.!Д¬hief is typing his e-mail to Bungie, while Arbiter is reading Halo: Contact Harvest.ДЄrbiter has a look at Chief's email, which simply says 'can i haz recon plz', with a lot of extra Zs.Don't fret! Why not just send Bungie an e-mail? Master Chief drops his pen and leans against the wall, having become very sad after finding out that his plan won't work.ДЄrbiter walks over to Chief to comfort him. Arbiter: It's a fantastic plan! It's just that the things you require seem somewhat.out of reach.Even if they were real, I doubt you'd get a hold of the Millennium Falcon for them to skydive from. Same goes for Chris Redfield, Solid Snake and Captain MacMillan. Arbiter: Seems pretty bulletproof, with a few minor flaws, such as how you're going to get your hands on.the team of invisible ninjas.the magnifying glass the size of Redmond, Washington.Arbiter: This plan is incredibly complex.Chief: my plan 2 get rec0n armer from bungie.Arbiter: What have you got there, Chief?.

Later, Chief is sitting in the hall with a piece of paper with a lot of stuff written on it. You should try reading a book one of these days instead of logging on to fucking all the time.

Arbiter: I'm not even using big words.

There wasn't any skill involved, so how are you better than anyone else?

You just used that language filter trick in matchmaking and worked together with other people in Lone Wolves to get them.

Arbiter: But it doesn't even prove anything.

Arbiter: Yeah, as if anyone over eight years old gives a fuck.Д¬HIEF: it showz ppl i r b3ttr tahn th3m!1!!eleven!!1.

What difference does it make?Д¬HIEF: so ppl no taht i got all teh atch33vmints adn 1000 gam3rpoeentz!1one

Arbiter: I like my guy better without it.

I guess that's the price they pay for interacting with their fans, but it's definitely too high a price for something so admirable.ДЄRBITER: Why is it that you can never come up with an intelligent retort? It's always cock jokes with you.Д¬HIEF: taht r wut ur mom sed last nite!1 LLOOOLLOL!!1Д¬HIEF: r u playign w/ katana body p33ce?/ Frankie can't make a simple sarcastic comment without people like you flying off the handle and bashing Bungie who type before they think. I bet you're probably typing a comment RIGHT NOW saying how much Bungie hates me.ДЄRBITER: Don't you think it's a little insulting to Bungie? You're assuming that they can't take any criticism, despite how involved they are with their fanbase in comparison to other game developers.ДЄRBITER: You don't even think about any of this kind of stuff, do you?ДЄRBITER: Sad, really. But of course, idiots like you jump to conclusions and go running your mouth off without putting an ounce of thought into anything first. It wouldn't make sense for them to post a link to a video on their front page that they honestly didn't like and give it a lot more attention. I still love Bungie, and I think Halo 3 is great.Д¬HIEF: but l00k / they hav a link 2 arby n ch33f epis0d 1 / it r say h33r bungie h8 u / they sey ur disgrasefelДЄRBITER: They're being sarcastic, retard.

Arbiter What the hell does it look like? I'm playing Halo 3.ДЄRBITER: No, I said I wasn't completely satisfied with the heroic map pack, and for valid reasons.

This is the transcript for the Season 1 episode, Recon.

Can i haz recon